She isn’t your auntie

An aunt, strictly speaking, is “the sister of someone’s father or mother, or the wife of someone’s uncle or aunt”. Most Indians do not speak so strictly. Adding a “y” or “ie” can widen the catchment area considerably, even in far colder climes: For Britons, “Auntie” can also be the public broadcaster. The BBC Written Archives explain: “A phrase of obscure origin: Presumably journalistic, possibly from cartoons. Increasingly used in 1950s to contrast BBC’s prudish, cosy, puritanical ‘refained’ image with that of the much brasher ITV.” It’s a bundle of connotations, not all of them interesting.

It doesn’t take a leap to understand why not everyone would want to be called “auntie”. Now in Britain, this has gone all the way to an employment tribunal. A 61-year-old NHS healthcare assistant has just been awarded £1,425 in compensation because a younger male colleague, a nurse, repeatedly addressed her as such, ignoring her objections, and also suggested that she would be a “good match for an older staff member”. This was ruled as harassment based on age and sex, although the nurse argued that in his Ghanaian culture, “auntie” was a term of respect for older women. It didn’t fly, and probably shouldn’t have — even those from what one might call “auntie-positive” cultures would hesitate to use it in a professional environment for someone who had already complained about it.

“Auntie-negativity” has its advantages, especially for those who still fancy themselves to be in their prime and want the freedom to do so. On the other hand, finding someone to call auntie might make a strange place feel like home — or at least, a relative’s house where one can be assured of good food and good gossip.